So, night before last, ex bf texted me at around 12:30 [technically that would be in the morning but who cares about technicalities?] & it was the classic

"Hey, haven't talked to you in awhile."

"No kidding stranger, how goes it?"

"Oh you know, bored & tired. How have you been?"

"The same. Staring at your ceiling fan doesn't do much in the entertainment department."

"Haha yeahh, so are you seeing anyone lately?"

*que sound of screeching tires*

[wowza that one took me by surprise. He sneaked that in there like freakin ninja man.]

"Haha, are you kidding me? I'm as single as ever. It's like a lifestyle. & yourself?"

"I'm single also but I don't really like it."

"Who does?"

*enter some garbage about his new job at Pac Sun la ze blah ze]

"So when are you going to come see me?"

"I didn't know you wanted me to come see you." [ooh, imma master of sly remarks. XD]

"Haha well now you do."

"I guess next time I go to the mall"

"Well that's cool & all but I was talking about coming to see me at my house."

"& what brought all this on?"

"Well, i've been thinking."

"& whats been on your mind?"

"Well, you."

"Yes, that really specifies things. Why have I been on your mind may I inquire?" "I've been thinking about the way I feel now & how I miss the way I felt when I was with you."

"If you like the way you felt when you were with me, why did you break up with me. You confuse me."

"I know, I confuse myself. I'm used to getting the shit end of the stick with everything & when I realized that you would never treat me like shit, this alien feeling I was getting scared myself away."

"So it wasn't anything I did, or didn't do?"

"No, I promise you were perfect."

"No offense, but i'm a little skeptical as to your motives. We had a thing going for awhile & then it came to an abrupt end. It kinda hurt."

"I know, & i'm sorry for that. I wish I could take any pain you felt from that away from you. I'm used to being treated like crap & guess I didn't know how to handle not being treated like crap. That sounds really really stupid & random I know."

"Why did you wait all this time to tell me all this?"

"Cause I was scared & didn't know how you react or what you would think. But I needed to tell you that."

"& so your saying you would like another chance? I hope you could get used to not being treated like a pile of shit, cause i'm not that type of girl."

"I've had a long time to think about it, & it's what I want fo sho."

"Fo sho huh? Lets just not jump into things like last time, k?"

"Sounds good to me."

So boys & girls, that was the convo that ended at around 1:30 a.m.

I'ts not totally 100% accurate on all words, but who cares. I have no idea if it was sincere or not, because obviously, it was through texting. No one can judge emotion levels through typed words. I didn't ask him if he was under the influence of some kind cause I didn't want to be rude & interrupt.

But...I decided to put it to the test to see if he would continue like normal & be a stranger so I texted him for once.

I gave up after like the third text because he didn't seem interested in talking to me at all.

& there you have it.

Kicked it with everyone last night. This is an incredibly rare occasion. It was going to be just Jenny & I but then Jessica texted her & Stephanie texted me & Jessica brought Mariah along & it was a party.

& then I found out that apparently, Jessica & I don't get along with Mike anymore.

That was nice to know considering we thought that everything was cool with us. So him & I got into a text fight.

Stupid texting. stupid stupid stupid.

It basically ended in him calling me gay for a comment I made about one of his whores. He tried to spit lies at me like "I've change a little bit" & "My views are different"

So because you've 'changed a little bit' & 'your views are different' your going to ditch your friends who have been trying to hang out with you since who knows when & tell lies to other people about how we don't get along?

Yes, we have tried to talk to you, but you've blown us off like always Mike.

So I guess, like you said, just fuck it. Fuck it in the ass.

*sigh*

Venting.....yay! I would like to vent all over his face.

*random convo with the group in Subway*

"So what are we going to do guys?"

Me - "Go to Mikes house & beat his fucking face in"

*Extremely loud cheers of "YEAHH!" from the group*

We were told to shhh.

he's got a party of chicas hating all over him. hahahahaha. :D

Har har.
This is what I do in my free time. :D

That would be me in the Batman suit & that would be my pet dino back there, not just a random dino head.

& that could possibly be my underwear in the window too.

I just choked on my spit for like the 3rd time today.
I'm afraid I cannot control my saliva lately.

Subway guy finally made himself known again today. I don't know what to think about this man.
He's such a shy 19 year old.
Actually, I have a theory that he's just being nice. It would be lovely to say
"Hey, you're a cool friend"
but no, he has to be like this....who knows if he's really such a shy person. He's said things in the past that made me think that he likes this odd chica as more than a friend.
words like
"I really like you & want to get to know you better." That would signify that he does like me as more than a buddy, wouldn't you say?
he's a brave man through a text message let me tell ya.
"Sorry I'm so boring. I'm just shy & you make me nervous"
["why do I make you nervous?"]
"Because you're beautiful"
I don't think theres really much between us. Best to just move on, right?

I'm super stoked.
I have no idea why really.
I'm just excited. The "dance around your room&sing at the top of your voice&not care who sees//hears" excited.
I can't stop smiling & laughing at myself. It's a drastic change from my mood yesterday.

I really want to go for a run.
I've never smoked a ciggy in my life, but I jog like 30 steps & i'm about ready to pass out. I think that signifies that i'm drastically out of shape. I've been doing my ab workouts though. I'm back up to 100 situps now. I feel so good about myself. It's a wonderful feeling.

I want to get back into art. I need to find my inspiration in the simple things in my life. I always take those for granted. At the end of school I started on a painting. I never finished it. It just sits there. It's of a photo I took in Chicago. I keep staring at it, willing myself to pick up a paint brush & begin again, but I just look away & walk off.
"Art is hard when you don't know who you are."

 "hola."

"What was that?" says the cute store worker.
"aloha!" says I.

true, real life story. :D

So here I am once again. My cd wall is still under construction. I have 80 some cds up there....but then....I ran out. D: piss.

My Subway guy is absent.
We never have much to talk about.
This makes me a little sad, but life moves on.
I miss his mowhawk though.
& his gorgeous blue eyes
& his beautiful smile. 

Spaz & Armondo are well adjusted.
& they're still alive, which is a big plus. 
Spaz is still a spaz though.
But that's why he's mah fishy.

I received a haircut today.
I want something new & drastic but I seem to be stuck in a hair rut.
I have the exact same style except slighty shorter.
I'm trying to grow it out though...that's not working very well either.

It's pretty much back to Jess & I.
Mariah kicks it with us a lot lately. I think she might actually enjoy our company.
The three of us went camping at Mariah's grandmas house on the lake. That was funness.
There spawned an epic quote.
It came from her extremely cute brother.[He has a great body too. :D]
"Don't drown & shit." - Josh.
& shit....what's & shit? lol.
I laughed a lot while floating on my dying inner tube.
[I can't swim. D: haha]

I wish to go to Wal*Mart.
I wanna see Hot Sexahh Toby.
Oh my he's hot & sexahh.
& he's hella funny.
& sexahh.

I dance like a dork to the music on The Weather Channel.
I just jacked my funny bone doing so.
The weather lady just said the storm was going to "kinda poop out."
I don't think i've ever laughed so hard at the weather.

I'm in love.
with a fictional character.
His name is Edward.
& he's from Twilight.
Who doesn't love Edward?
Bella repulses me. blech.

Well 'ello.

I thought I might update a little. :D

I'm currently working on a sort of recycling project with old cds.

My iPod is my life, but I feel a little bad ditching my cds like that.

Who needs the cds when you can just sync the music onto your pod?

So all my old cds are going on my wall.
They're going to cover it.

I think it'll look pretty schweet when it's done.

They'll go over my closet & down the walls on the side.

Needless to say im excited to see what it'll look like when it's done.

In other news. I'm sick of rain. Missouri has enough.

I was going to go swimming today at the lake but their not letting anyone in until the water goes down. psh.

Met a guy. He's pretty grand.

He works at Subway. :D

All the friends are slowly coming back together again. Except Mike of course, but he thinks he's too good for us. We're not his top priority as he put it. Screw him i say. We have tons of fun without his drama bull. Stupid man whores.

& that's pretty much it....

Oh! I got two fish.

Their names are Spaz & Armondo. C: